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If your spouse is considering enlisting into the Army, National Guard, Marine Corps, Coast Guard, whatever it is I think there are some important steps to make before you transition into this lifestyle, because trust me It’s different. Personally, I am a person who has an adventurous mindset, so when my spouse told me that he wanted to join I was all about it. However, there are a few things that I wish I would have done to prepare myself for this new life, and I would like to share these things with you.
1. Prepare yourself financially
When my husband joined I wish we would have started saving right away for a just in case emergency fund. When he joined in April 2018 we had at least three months to save our money, but being in our twenties we weren’t that great with finances. I would suggest having a months worth of expenses and a little bit more set back, because waiting for my husband’s first paycheck in the military put a lot of stress on me. I was at home with two kids, and unsure about what was going to happen, and everything turned out okay, but if I could go back I would definitely recommend having that assurance.
Communicating with your spouse while your apart is huge. So establishing that foundation before he or she leaves is important. I wish that we had gone to counseling together before he left, because I feel like that would have helped us to learn how to communicate while he was gone. Communicating while you are next to each other is one thing, but communicating when you are in separate states, or if you’re going through deployment separate countries can be totally different. There are resources available to military couples, but I believe it’s only for deployments. I will talk about that in another post, so if your spouse is enlisting I would suggest finding a marriage counselor before they leave, so you can find peace in that situation.
3. Draw Close To God
As a Christian I am a firm believer that having a relationship with God is essential to surviving the hard days when you miss your spouse and you have no one to turn to. Hopefully you won’t experience loneliness like that, but I know for me I did, and I made the mistake of not spending the quality time with God that I truly needed. Even when you feel alone he will always be there for you to turn to.
“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” James 4:8
4. Get into a routine
Morning and evening routines would have made my life so much easier, while my husband was away. Routines don’t have to be complicated, but they do help.
Wake up at the same time every day.
Make Breakfast at the same time
Schedule a workout in if you prefer to do this at night that’s okay too.
Schedule Quiet Time with God
Etc. I’ll give you all an update on my morning and night routines on this blog.
5. Keep yourself busy
While your spouse is away you need to find something to preoccupy the time in between the empty spaces of your life, otherwise you will drive yourself crazy. Here are a few examples of things you can do.
- Go to school or go back to school.
- Start a side hustle (Reselling Clothes on Poshmark, Blogging, Youtubing) Etc.
- Get involved with your church.
- Go out with your friends
- Go out with your kids
- Go back to work if you feel comfortable with that.
- Do something that brings you joy (hiking, painting, writing, drinking coffee, etc.)
6. Give yourself grace
Last but not least give yourself grace. If you have a bad day, it’s okay! This is a big step in life, and it’s not always going to be easy. Allow yourself to make mistakes, and if everything on your planner doesn’t happen, just breath through it. I promise everything will pass. Good days and bad days will happen. It’s a part of life, but it’s a beautiful life.
I hope these suggestions are helpful for any new military spouses. I will be sharing a lot of personal experiences, and marriage advice on here, if you found this helpful! I hope you all have a blessed day!